Camcorder Buff Gifts

"Baldo, are you ready? The funeral starts in 30 minutes!"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

Battery Lighthouse

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

King kong 5 G.

I will be Bach.

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"He's stopped working on his screenplay."

Lumiere brothers caricature

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

The Odd Couple.

"I do lover a good prawn film!"