Calculation Fanatic Pillows

'Bananas...two ears...1.4 billion Chinese...you do the math!'

'That's my accountant - he figures out my points total on ducks.'

"No, you can't ballpark it."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Math Dreams

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Maths is fun!'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'190 divided by two...'

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Math Teacher

"When the teacher explained negative numbers, I suddenly understood how politicians 'deficit spend'."

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'This part was tenure.'

Presentation: Any questions?

"What comes after zillion?"