Calculation Aficionados Pillows

'There must be some mistake. According to our actuary tables I'm going to live to 83.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'But I digress...'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Math Dreams

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Maths is fun!'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'190 divided by two...'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

Common Core Family Therapy

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"When the teacher explained negative numbers, I suddenly understood how politicians 'deficit spend'."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Math Teacher

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."