Caffeine Cutter Prints

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

'Doesn't it feel good to be taking care of our planet?'

Running Latte

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

'Due to concerns about Global Warming...I'm through with cooking.'

The Atkins Diet.

"I have used this unexpected stay-at-home time to get really good at new skills."

"I'm back for my booster."

Next Coffee Shop 4M

'What happened mom? I thought you were on a low-carb diet?'

IT department/Cup of T department.

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

This Green and Pleasant Landfill.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could borrow a little work?"

'All finished. Just the way you like it.'

"Keeping all your money in a cigar box is not wise. You should keep it in a coffee can hidden behind the TV, like me!"

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?'....'Mrs. Harrison has started dieting again!'

"Traditionally, you cut the bottom layer at the wedding reception, the middle layer at your first child's Christening, and the top layer to celebrate your divorce settlement."

"You need to cut down on the caffeine."

"Lucky for us, mother has been stress baking lately."

'That's why I put on weight! All I eat is carbs!'