Cafe Proprietor Mugs

Armstrong Maynard, proprietor of our humble cafe, is swept up in merger frenzy. Armstrong says we're taking over the little guy. We are the little guy. There are littler. Even he wouldn't ... I'm taking you out. I don't wanna be acquired. Lemonade 50¢

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Fast food. Even faster food

'Do you have any catsup?'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Today's special... donuts.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Beer Stall

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Shaken not stirred

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"This is our soft opening."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!