By-law Awareness Pillows

"Are you trying to get me nicked."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

"No offence Jon, but..."

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

Gun Ego

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"You gotta multiply dog years by seven, pal."

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I can't respond to a hypothetical question."

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

No! The new mining bill hasn't passed yet!

"It's totally unfair! I can't vape but you can cook with gas?!"

'Landmark book deal.'

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

'It's a tax on taxes.'

'We have special circumstances here Your Honor...Mr. Juttle committed the crime so he could get out of jury duty.'

'My lawyer says he's pretty sure this is police entrapment.'

"If it pleases the court, the prosecution would like to pet the defendant, too."

No Parking in Firelane.

Two men shaking hands while another man warns one man about it

IRS Auditing, 10 loopholes or less.

IRS, 'Internal just isn't enough any more -- we have to go EXternal.'

Spray Can of Violence

Your Child's Life Depends on It.

"Burger King bought a Canadian donut chain and relocated its headquarters to Canada to skip U.S. taxes."

Pull yourself together, get over it and move on.

Moses with Ten Commnadments: 'Hmm ... it doesn't say anything about texting and driving.'

Happy 2018! Just remember...a DUI is a DUI is a DUI.

Alcohol, Violence and Crime

"I'm pretty sure having your child ride rear-facing until they're four only applies to car seats."