Buzzword Wizard T-Shirts

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

The Family Joules: Part 21

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Introducing...Anagraman.

"It's a play on words."

The Proust of Twitter

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."