Buying New Gear Gifts

Hill Walking Boots: 'I'll take them.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

The AdRams Family no.1- Computers for kids

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

Odd Angles, a monthly strip on coarse angling

'I've only packed essentials! CD player, hair dryer, eight new tops and a sun lamp.'

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

'Melissa tried to make a word processor by putting the dictionary in the blender - so now we're off to buy a laptop!'

"While I'm at it, is there anything I can order YOU from L. L. Bean?"

Dry Cleaning

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"Shredder broken again?"

'He hasn't done anything yet, it's just with all this gear on, he can't stand up!'

'I think you might've over-packed, We'll only be gone for an hour,'

Time Saving Machinery

'That sneeze bid in a used bull-dozer!'

'After that, Ron would always open books about new hobbies before buying the equipment.'

'I told you the waders were too big when you bought them.'

'I never know whether I should buy good goggles that I'll lose after five jumps or cheap ones that'll scratch after two.'

"I guess I could still hand and hunt."

'Well, it wasn't working when I got it home.'

"Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day."

"I think my front wheels are out of alignment."

"It's guaranteed for the life of the product which, obviously, ended when it broke."

As Jeff cycled up the hill he realised he was in the wrong gear.

"Something comfortable with good arch support and a cushioned heel. He wants to run away from home."

"Please let me through, gentlemen. I'm a dental hygienist."

'It's easier on the back because the weight is distributed evenly. You should try it sometime.'

Shop assistant watches a woman trying many shoes in shoe shop.

"Cruz, I met the greatest girl this week. She rode a cool scooter, she was really cute, and she helped her uncle remodel an '83 Olds!"

Please don't hurt the machines.

"After years in theoretical physics, I can't get enough equipment to put my hands on."