Business Model Critic Gifts

Woman walking past Five Guys.

'Improved production depends on two things - my leadership, your cooperation and good organization.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

"I'll tell you what I'm looking for! I'm looking for a yes man, Jenson. Do you think you could fit that bill?"

Boss: Suggestion Box Bin

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"So we all agree to reduce our company motto to 'It was the least we could do'?"

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

No - None sense, take-charge, inc. - Formerly: Happy-go-lucky, inc.'

Waste Management.

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom..."

"We're looking for people to fire."

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

'How can the employees accuse me of running a sweatshop? Don't I let them go home after midnight?'

"Budget Cuts."

"My name is Bob and I'm looking for a 'Yesirree' man."

Rat Race Resources.

"When the going gets tough, the tough get a government handout."