Business-minded Parent Gifts

"I'm a surrogate birth mother for hire. How do I claim my income?"

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

A child stands behind a stand piled high with snowballs and a sign that reads "Hand-crafted snowballs 25¢".

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"No, Dad. All this belongs to me right now. I acquired it in a hostile takeover."

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

"This is a family operation, Ben, and we're evicting you from our family."

'There's no need for you to state your opinion, son. Just lipsynching mine will do fine.'

'It's a terrific family business: We have about 53 staff-members...'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into making this company what it is today! My father worked hard for what I've got."

'Since the healthcare legislation became law, our Little MBA kit outsells our Little Doctor Kit by a hundred to one.'

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

Dr. Mom and Dr. Pop's Little Corner Hospital

"Be there in a sec, darling. I just want to touch base with Tiffany."

You did a hostile takeover of the corner lemonade stand? Why not? It's operated by Timmy. He's seven. He's a big boy. By seven, I had three ice cream carts. Besides, I made his investors an offer they couldn't refuse. We'll split the six free espressos. Waaaaah!

Company boss says to baby: 'I've called you in here to keep you in the loop as we've made some very long-term investments,'

'Mr. Ainsley, this is my beloved son Jarrod. He's four or five.'

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

'I worked for my wife's company and I got fired for sexual harassment!'

"I got this job based on my tremendous knowledge and work skills. At least that's what my Dad said when he hired me."

"It's been three years since I took over, will you stop looking over my shoulder, dad?"

'Someday, daughter, this will all be yours.'

"Remember, son, it's not what you know that counts but who I know."