Business Managers Pillows

Idiot's Guide to Management and Management's Guide to Idiots.

"I think we must accept that things have got to get worse before they can get even worse."

'This makes our merit pay system so simple.'

'... And I don't like the way you talk about corporate greed as though it's a bad thing!'

"Agenda item 38...'Length of future meetings'."

"On the bright side, our management training program is a roaring success."

"Simplified application form? This IS the simplified application form..."

"The Giving Stuff Away division is in the hole, like always."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

A really great place to work: 'Entitlement Inc'

A man searches for ideas in an ideas recycling bin.

'Just wanted to step in say: we have a great consulting firm on this floor.'

"Driftwood, deadwood—what the hell's the difference?"

Women's day - place to work.

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

"By God, we'll pull out of this mess or I'm not Otto Von Bismark."

Redployment of Resources

"Why, thank you, pembroke. It is a harebrained idea."

"Instead of bonuses this year let's cut down a tree in each Employee's name."

"There'll be some opportunities to get into management."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"