Business Lingo Linguist T-Shirts

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"You're all redundant."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"I made a straightforward proposal, Moira, and all I ask is a linear response."

'Don't you all feel energised, full of enthusiasm for the future!'

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

'Ms. Kravetz, find me a euphemism to describe this productivity gain somewhere between resource action and you're all fired.'

Digital Marketing

'This startup is going to cost me a ton.'

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

Clothiers. Suits - Shirts. The salesman uses a lot of business jargon. Welcome! You've done your due diligence. You already know we're a value-add operation here. Great synergies with the suit and accessories! And our tailor can right-size this for you. You'll be able to monetize the strategic acquisition of this suit via enhanced deal-making success! I don't want to "dress for success." I want clothes for repose. I think I have a great head for business but my body never wants to tak

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

We all know we're up against a new ball game, a paradigm shift and a game changer, but luckily the cliches remain the same.

'My protocol ate your paradigm.'

"'Plummet' is such a harsh term, Mr. Dolan. We prefer to say priced 'below cost basis'."

"There'd be a lot less hemming and hawing if you did a better job of flimming and flamming."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Nice speech. A blend of the aspirational and pie-in-the-sky nonsense."

"No time for sound bites. Just give me a couple of sound nibbles."

"Apropos your request for a salary increase, we're going to have you appraised."

"We want to shift the paradigm to refocus on forward facing customer orientated satisfaction levels with a strategic orientation towards market positioning. . ."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'