Business Language Pillows

I got struck out when management got tired of my sports metaphors.

"You're all redundant."

"Are you having an affair"? "I prefer to think of it as outsourcing my romantic needs."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'