Business Language Buff Prints

Abandoned After Signing Will Work for KPIS

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'We need to boost our earnings by giving our earnings a boost.'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

Boss to employee: 'You think you've got burnout? Are you sure it's not dry rot?'

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"I made a straightforward proposal, Moira, and all I ask is a linear response."

"Ssssh. . . it's time for his verbal warning."

"You're all redundant."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'