Business Jester Pillows

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'I think the only reason my job hasn't been outsourced is because nobody knows what I do around here.'

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

'That was Fred in inventory. He's been outsourced.'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times. I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

'I like the energy I'm seeing on the first floor.'

The Okey-Cokey Company

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

'Thanks for throwing out your ideas, Perkson, but I have to throw them out too.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

Hedge Fund Manager: 'Maybe'.

"May I take two giant steps?"

"What do you mean you can't remember where you buried the company's assets?"

Ted wants to take creative accountancy to another level

"Still, I think we should be proud that we did it as a team!"

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"In other words, we'd like you to start thinking outside of another company's box."

"Better show my three-o'clock in, Yolanda. He has been waiting."

"See what a few beers mingled with some great ideas will do for the boss?"

'Hopkins! We ALL get tired of talking about flanges.'

'Of course you've got a say in this firm! For example 'Yes, sir!', 'You're right, sir!', 'Aye Aye, sir!' or 'As you like it, sir!'

'Remember, you only got where you are today by agreeing with everything I say.'

'A 40% drop in revenue? Oh, that's just a crazy rumor.'

...and who was responsible for this drop in our share price, I hear you ask...

"We managed to make ends meet."

'I'm told he has insufficient assets to cover a reality check.'

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'I want to do business with a man who doesn't bowl.'

'I've been thinking of selling off all our assets and buying a gas station.'

Now before I give you my report, I want you all to remember the word 'cycle'.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.