Business Humor Fans Mugs

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"I can't take all the credit, but I did help drive this company into the ground."

No, you may not make a resignation speech.

'Just heard Bob made executive vice-president.'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'If cooler heads really prevailed, the world would be run by Siberians.'

"...And, while fortunately, I am not losing my job...my heart goes out to those who are!"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Spot the difference.

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"I hate performance review season."

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."