Business Experts Gifts

Acme Corp - In business since 1927 BG. 'The 'BG' stands for 'Before Greenspan'.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Occu-Pie Mars

"My email is down... talk to me."

British savings accounts

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."