Business Ethics Professor Gifts

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

'I agree we need someone with real world experience to teach Business Ethics, but someone from a work release program?'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

Global Industries: "Committed to low-intensity, sustainable exploitation of poor countries around the world since 1961."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Ethics exam cheater.

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I don't care if you are the CEO of a large oil company, you can't claim your soul as a business loss.'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

Nepotism

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

Larry's snout was as clean as a whistle...this made some a little edgy.

Man losing his honesty

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

Car number plate reads - 'My multi-national corporation right or wrong.'

"Actually, sir, I’ve found that the shortest distance between two points is money."

'Not to toot my own horn, but I'm widely considered to be the spiritual godfather of all the corrupt, arrogant, obscenely overpaid and ultimately disastrous CEOs so prevalent in the past hundred years!'

'You US firms think that money can buy everything...but what price an you put on loyalty, integrity, how could you compensate me for losing my friends?'