Business Development Professional Pillows

'I went out with that new hunk in Sales last night. Great closer!'

'What's our policy on begging for sales?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

The Evolution of the Bonus