Business Decision Humorist T-Shirts

"Do we want to just flip a coin, or hire expensive consultants so they can flip a coin?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Spot the difference.

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"Any questions?"

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"I hate performance review season."

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Will work for ETFs

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'