Business Culture Pillows

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

"Let's do it, let's fall in love."

Meeting room has machine outside selling 'Reasons it's not your fault'.

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

Hey, Larry...got your back!

"Well, we used to give our employees the benefit of the doubt...but we're dropping that benefit, too."

"If we did hire you, would you be willing to lower your standards to our level?"

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

“We may as well go home. It’s obvious that this meeting isn’t going to settle anything.”

Somehow she always managed to have the last word.

'When I was young I wanted to get into merchant banking but they said I was too nice!'

'My boss wants us to appeal to a younger and hipper crowd. So, I'd like a tattoo that says 'Accountants Rule!''

' Most recently I've been involved in the manufacture, development, testing and repair of primary bio-components. Kids.'

Assets of �76 million and not one rubber band.

That shows business confidence.

"Oh, my God. Old people."

'Yes we are one big happy family around here, but keep in mind father always knows best!'

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

'I started as just another 'yes man', but eventually my talents were recognized and I became a full fledged sycophant.'

'Fred, finally, there's a seat at the end.'

The board meeting was quite dignified until somebody started a pie chart fight.

Good Ol' Boys

"Tom has put himself into a self-induced coma. It's his way of getting through these boring meetings."

"It's not enough I have to think outside the box. Now I have to think outside the bubble!"

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"My motto is: If you don't have anything nice to day... don't say anything nice."

"Be polite to AI on your way up because it will be more pervasive on your way down."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

"I was in the office an hour early this morning."

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

"We're a startup. We're looking for someone who can yank this cord."

My Hidden Agenda Just Ate Your Ulterior Motive.

"I don’t understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn’t on his ‘To Do’ list!"

"Have you ever done golf?"