Business Comedian Pillows

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'The accountants can wait, Tell them I'm tied up in a meeting with representatives from Pomerol Pommard,'

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

'Nice suit, Doug!'

'We've identified the reason for our earning's shortfall. It seems our company is run by a bunch of rabbits.'

'Can we lose our shirts and get away with calling it a wardrobe malfunction?'

"If you look at it just so you will notice the upward trend."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Spot the difference.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'