Business Coaches Mugs

Boss: 'Change is good!' Employees: 'Who's getting fired?'

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

"These days people focus too much on what the job might pay....but what price can you put on 'job satisfaction', on 'commitment'...on 'loyalty'?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

British savings accounts

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Others will fight for you

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.