Business Chat Enthusiast Gifts

"It gets lonely at the top so I started a CEO social media site."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Spot the difference.

Boss's Desk Says No!

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

The Rubber Ball Company

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

Office temperature.

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

"I love fast break business success."

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'