Business Bloomer Pillows

Growing a business....

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

Go team!

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

Satya Nutella

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

CEO du Jour

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

The Salesman

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'In my rise to the tip I was always aware of a higher power - now I feel I'm ready to take it on.'

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

Game changing