Burp Enthusiast Gifts

'No fish, but Junior made his first burp word.'

Drunk redneck shot a cow.

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Belching plant

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'I hate surprises!'

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"My wife's going through a difficult pregnancy."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

'Space is not an issue: I'll just dig out a few more rooms...'

Urp! Homo Eructus.

"You say you want me to do well in school. I thought you'd be more excited that I can burp the alphabet!"

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

Bar bouncer resumes.

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

My youthful jacket blurb writing showed such excitement, he thought with a sigh.

This is the part I hate - removing the hook.

'Oops, sorry...'

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

Please take a number...

'Baby's kicking again.'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

"I can't believe how COMPETITIVE the job market has gotten. The company I interviewed at today already has 16 employees who can burp the ABCs!"

'There! Did you feel him kick?'

"Here are my notes on collateralized debt obligation. Make me sound like I know what I'm talking about."

'That little fella has quite a burp on him!'

'My mom said someday I'll grow up and go to college!' 'My mom can burp the alphabet. She learned how in college!'

'I dreamed last night that we had SALAD.'