Burnt Offering Veteran Gifts

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Another day at work would be one too many...

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Barbeque Casualty.

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"I think that might have been one deadline too many for Tim!"

'All right, Hargreaves, you've made your point clear.'

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'

"I don't think we can put off dealing with 'presenteeism' any longer."

Pre-vacation-burn-out radiology reports.

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

You Know You're Old When...

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

'No, Stanworth, feeling sick of your job does not qualify you for sick leave.'

"It's the worst part of working here...spending so much time with people at the end of their tether, ill, stressed, desperate for help..."

"Sorry I'm late again, boss. I got held up in self-doubt and regrets."

When you are most likely to be stabbed in the back

'Did you finish the business plan and out look for the next five years?'

"You know, Daddy... We should thank a vet every day."

'Is it still edible?'

Organic Soldering.

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

"I think you misunderstood our new work from home policy-- you work eight hours here at the office, then you get to take your work home with you."

'You're vaarking too aard,'

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

"This is your supervision, your time. Feel free to tell me anything."

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.

RAF Rapidly Approaching Forty

'Thank you.'