Burglar Pillows

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"At your age I was out liberating things."

'Oh, crap. I did not see that coming.'

Waste Thinner

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

'Dear, must you bring your work home with you!'

Safe breaker's diagnosis

'It's a matter of opinion, to me it's a smash 'n' grab, to you it's a window of opportunity...'

'Dogs are from Mars, cats are from Venus.'

'HEy; don't look over my shoulder. That makes me nervous.'

Vinny 'The Mole' was a firm believer in Take Your Daughter To Work Day.

Pensioners On Stair Lifts

'Well hello Jill. I actually picked up the phone to ring the police, but now that you're on, how about coffee on Tuesday?'

Early Ram Raids

"You should have had it double-knotted."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"The boogie woogie bugle cat of Company B"

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Who Let the Dawg In?

Burbank Imposes Parking Fee on RVs

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

Homeless count.

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

Early House Hunting.

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

With their sales slumping due to high gas prices, many RVs are being converted...

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"