Bureaucratic Navigator T-Shirts

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"I have a brief statement, a clarification, and two denials."

"The thing about innovation, new ideas and change is that it needs to be carefully considered, vetted and fall within corporate governance before being implemented."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Uh-Oh..."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

Yin and Yang VPs.

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"About the shareholders meeting, ….Have Hayward update me on the smoke and Crampton brief me on the mirrors."

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

No - what kind of answer is no?

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

Maps to all the corporate trap doors for sale here!

"Who the hell is responsible for this no-blame culture???"

In/Out.

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'