Bureaucratic Navigator T-Shirts

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"I have a brief statement, a clarification, and two denials."

"The thing about innovation, new ideas and change is that it needs to be carefully considered, vetted and fall within corporate governance before being implemented."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Uh-Oh..."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

Yin and Yang VPs.

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"About the shareholders meeting, ….Have Hayward update me on the smoke and Crampton brief me on the mirrors."

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

A note of warning, he doesn't suffer wise men gladly

No - what kind of answer is no?

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

"Who the hell is responsible for this no-blame culture???"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

In/Out.