Bureaucratic Irony Admirer Gifts

Quality Control

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

Wolf Reintroduction.

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

MI5 Press Office

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

God's Office.

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

Department of Infrastructure

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

Auditor General.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

Mr Pickwick and Sam in the Attorney's Office

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

Insufficient Postage

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

'I'm sorry, sir, this is the department of Immediate Dissatisfaction. Your appointment is with the Bureau of Eternal Frustration.'

'Of course you don't remember agreeing to see me regarding my time machine. You made the appointment next week.'