Bundle Up Buddies Pillows

Frigid Cold

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'The grudge match.'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

Woman reading: 'How to look hot on the beach this summer.'

'My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off.'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

'No, nothing permanent. Just maybe spend a little less time together each day, that's all.'

Winter warmers, using cats to keep warm.

Ballet Shoes

'We don't spend enough time together, son. Ever thought of becoming a caddy?'

'Telephone sex in New England'

'New glasses often hurt at first Tom.'

Boys in bandages.

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

Your feet are freezing.

"These are the people I hate dealing with...buried in debt unsure about their futures, no hopes or prospects."

Very low temperatures in the world

"Why is it when the dog snores you think it's cute, but when I snore you elbow me in the ribs!"

"Okay. . . I've had the dog out for his walk . . . can we please come in now. . . ?"

"I see prosperity in your future."