Building A New Hospital Pillows

"It make syou kind of proud to be helping to build this giant new hospital doesn't it!!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

Being Serenading in Casualty

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

'We can always hope he's a zombie.'

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"