Bug Conversationalist T-Shirts

"Killer cockroaches - that would be something to worry about."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

'Do you know something? If I couldn't eat, I would just die!'

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

'Your attention everybody! -- There's a 'severe foot watch' in effect until four o'clock this afternoon.'

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

Fly having an idea.

"One time, in Lima, Peru, I was nearly squashed by a taxi. So, you see, I understand what it's like. Do you enjoy Jeff Goldblum?" "The horsefly whisperer"

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

"Roger might be just right for you. He plans his entire day around the wild thing, too."

'Is it true what they say'

'I know about the birds, but what about the bees?'

"Other end, Steve. We've already met."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't eat so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much floatsam.'

"Do you play?"