Bug Conversationalist T-Shirts

"Killer cockroaches - that would be something to worry about."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

'Do you know something? If I couldn't eat, I would just die!'

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

'Your attention everybody! -- There's a 'severe foot watch' in effect until four o'clock this afternoon.'

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

"One time, in Lima, Peru, I was nearly squashed by a taxi. So, you see, I understand what it's like. Do you enjoy Jeff Goldblum?" "The horsefly whisperer"

'Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. It's not in the pie or the baby's prunes - it's on 'Heartbreak Motel' Oh baby, so lonely...'

Fly having an idea.

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

'I know about the birds, but what about the bees?'

"Do you play?"

'Is it true what they say'

"Other end, Steve. We've already met."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't eat so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much floatsam.'