Budgeting Diva Gifts

'MORE housekeeping? What do you do with it all?'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"What comes after zillion?"

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

Valleyview diet clinic

'Diet considerations.'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."