Budget Wine Investigator Mugs

"Well, I always find the cheapest French, Greek and Italian wines for binge drinking."

In the Guru District

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"Great coffee, Carole."

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

Wine of the Day Club

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Wine: New & Old!!!

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

'Red for me, please.'

Wine

"Put me through to City Stockbrokers please."

A Good Year.

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

"What would you serve with toast?"

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

"Must you always be so anthropomorphic?"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"