Budget-savvy Decorator Mugs

'Do you have any white with a hint of discount?'

'It's lucky we kept last year's Christmas Tree.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Shelter Cat Nap

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Face Painting.

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Redecorating Easter Island.

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'Quick, press control Z!'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Early cave painters

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

Curtains haberdashery

"Love your feng shui!"