Budget Expert T-Shirts

Mom's Diner: You Can Afford the Price of Our Gas

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"Who's got the hammer?"

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Investing your savings

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

Blowing dust off an order book.

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.