Budget Debate Buff Pillows

Angry David Cameron

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"What comes after zillion?"

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

White House Garage Sale.

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

Where tax money goes...

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Squeezing a tight budget...

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

Financial Execution

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

"Care to sign a petition to have a 'balanced budget' as the eleventh commandment?"

'All the kids got bad grades...I think the school is on some kind of austerity program.'

Gas Prices.

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'