Budget Debate Buff Pillows

Angry David Cameron

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"What comes after zillion?"

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

White House Garage Sale.

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

Where tax money goes...

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

Financial Execution

Squeezing a tight budget...

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

Because of our tightening budget, I had to turn off the lights at the end of the tunnel.

"Care to sign a petition to have a 'balanced budget' as the eleventh commandment?"

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

Gas Prices.

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."