Budget Conscious Fitness Seekers Gifts

'After six months of health club membership, extra aerobic classes, and exercise videos, I've lost five pounds and my entire life savings.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

"The swim team is really feeling those school budget cuts."

'Rooms are $200 a day, did you want nurses..? bed...? Sheet...?'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

"We're happy that you got great news on your tests. We're still sending in our grievance counselor to help you cope with your medical bill, though."

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

Do you have health insurance ?

'Open the doors before they have second thoughts, and scatter.'

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

'I have to use it... it's not paid for yet.'

'It's not as convenient, but bagged water is half the price of bottled.'

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

"That's out of my price range. Do you have anything that's free?"

'Let's begin your exam with a simple coordination test. Swipe your credit card.'

"Just look for something in my price range."

'This prescription will be expensive to fill. You might want to try it's generic form...chicken soup.'

When Tia Carmen says... "I bought Christmas gifts for all your cousins!" it means...she did her shopping at the dollar store.

Fresh skinless and boneless chicken

£17 for a haircut? No, £2 for a haircut and £15 for search fees.

I'd like a refund please. Christmas cost me an arm and a leg this year!

Gas Bar - "Fill it up with last week's gas, you know the stuff that was ten cents cheaper."