Budget Conscious Fitness Seekers Gifts

'After six months of health club membership, extra aerobic classes, and exercise videos, I've lost five pounds and my entire life savings.'

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

'Rooms are $200 a day, did you want nurses..? bed...? Sheet...?'

"The swim team is really feeling those school budget cuts."

"We're happy that you got great news on your tests. We're still sending in our grievance counselor to help you cope with your medical bill, though."

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

Do you have health insurance ?

'Open the doors before they have second thoughts, and scatter.'

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

'It's not as convenient, but bagged water is half the price of bottled.'

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

'I have to use it... it's not paid for yet.'

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

"That's out of my price range. Do you have anything that's free?"

'Let's begin your exam with a simple coordination test. Swipe your credit card.'

"Just look for something in my price range."

'This prescription will be expensive to fill. You might want to try it's generic form...chicken soup.'

When Tia Carmen says... "I bought Christmas gifts for all your cousins!" it means...she did her shopping at the dollar store.

Fresh skinless and boneless chicken

£17 for a haircut? No, £2 for a haircut and £15 for search fees.

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