Budget Beautifier Pillows

"This is about all I have in your price range."

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Hot Pie Therapy

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

What price beauty?

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

"I don't like your application."

A Manicure

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Woman applying makeup

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"