Budget Beautifier Pillows

"This is about all I have in your price range."

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

A Manicure

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Woman applying makeup

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."