Budding Mathematician T-Shirts

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

"... And his piano teacher says that he definitely has Van Gough's ear for music."

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

Building Blocks.

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

"For you young scientists who hope to do public service work someday, the following six experiments, showing the basic ideas behind chemical warfare...."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

Football Skills

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'In case of computer bug break glass.'

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

A child busking

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"Don't quit now, we're halfway there!"

'Publisher recommends a good paper shredder.'

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

'Your book has a wonderful, timely quality. We're putting it on our list for a 2009 release.'

Invisible Man Kit

"Dear Author: Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to reject your work."