Bubbly Philosopher T-Shirts

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Bubbly

Pigeon Little

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Reverse psychology

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

Champagne

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men gossiping

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Prosecco

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Wine Pyramid

ONE HORSE TOWN

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Brickie's Mate