Bruise Whisperer T-Shirts

'I see a tender, dark bruise coming your way...' (Balm readers)

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"What did you think was going to happen when you filled the feeder with lasagna?"

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Bulltoon: Certifiabull

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

'Honey, honey, always honey: We'll never get rich unless we can differentiate ourselves from the competition...'

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy! Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy!'

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

'Oi, call the fire brigade, my foot's stuck.'

"Repeat after me..."

Entomology Reference

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'For heaven's sake, Claudia. Give him the tuna fish sandwiches!'

"Service."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'