Bruise Whisperer T-Shirts

'I see a tender, dark bruise coming your way...' (Balm readers)

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"What did you think was going to happen when you filled the feeder with lasagna?"

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

Bulltoon: Certifiabull

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

'Honey, honey, always honey: We'll never get rich unless we can differentiate ourselves from the competition...'

'Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy! Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy!'

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

'For heaven's sake, Claudia. Give him the tuna fish sandwiches!'

"Repeat after me..."

'Oi, call the fire brigade, my foot's stuck.'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

"Service."

Entomology Reference

Emma Watson

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'