Bronte Buff Pillows

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

"We don't have an attic, so you'll have to keep me in the living room."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Cat Nip.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Backfire

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Bloody hell!"

Cheeze Wiz.

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The Golfing Accident

"Is there a vegan option?"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

Cat Hecklers

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Wedding disaster #27.

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"Beware of the frog"

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!