British Rail Fan T-Shirts

Pound sign on rail tracks.

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

HS2

Sushi Train Spotters

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

HS2 time bomb...

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

A train's dining car is a diner.

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

What Holds the Subway Together?

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

Solar Storm Expected!

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

Trainspotting.

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

'Let's build all possible variants and see which one turns out to be the cheapest to run!'

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"