British Rail Fan T-Shirts

Pound sign on rail tracks.

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

HS2

Sushi Train Spotters

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

L.A. Transfer

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

The Train to Nowhere

A train's dining car is a diner.

HS2 time bomb...

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

What Holds the Subway Together?

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

Trainspotting.

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

Solar Storm Expected!

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

'Let's build all possible variants and see which one turns out to be the cheapest to run!'