Bribery Humor Pillows

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"I hate performance review season."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Trump

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'I see everyone got the memo.'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

'But this is what you demanded; a corner office with Windows.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"I didn't get where I am by trying to please."

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

Looks like another profit's warning

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."