Break Buster Pillows

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'Read that last part back to me.'

'Rules are there to be broken, my friend.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Pole Vault Rules

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Sports Radio in Crisis

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Hey, what happened to the rule about running in the house?

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

No juggling allowed.