Bravery In Dining Pillows

"Okay - This is your last chance to back out."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'While you're doing his brain surgery, can you tweak things a bit so he'll stop picking his nose at the dinner table?'

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"I hope he's wearing pants."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"A table in Siberia, please."

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Your bill sir.'

"The last doggy bag."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"What a slobster."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

I'll have a hamburger.

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

'Soup's off.'

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"