Brandy Lover Gifts

'Good afternoon! I'll be your rescue dog today, offering a fine selection of brandies while Bernard will be along shortly with the cheese and biscuits.'

'Ah yes, that's Henderson. Unfortunately, he found himself in my line of fire.'

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

A Good Batch.

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Candle Portraits.

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You've got to help me, Doc! I've got a crush on St. Valentine all Year!!'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

'Guess how many I ATE.'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'What can you get with a quarter?'