Brand Strategists T-Shirts

"Rebranding from our 'raggedy' phase is harder than I expected."

Rocket sponsorship

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'How fast can you hype?'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."